But I'm Not Hungry - Day 4

I returned to the gym this morning and worked out on the treadmill.  I enjoy the treadmill.  With my ear buds connected to my MP3 player, and listening to Michael Jackson tunes, I experience an escape unlike any thing I have experienced before.  Of course I am not up to running speed yet, but I do a pretty mean power walk while listening to Billy Jean!    

As I work out on the treadmill I oft times close my eyes and  really get into my walk, adding small dance moves that seem appropriate to the music.  Then at other times I stare off out at the mountains in the distance and I am overcome with the desire to run.  I imagine what it will be like when I can run freely with nothing to get in my way or stop me.  I see my self running for fun along a path among the Sequoias in California, or along the beach, splashing through the waves as they slide up the sand and race back to the ocean.  It is nearly a rush for me.  I can hardly wait to go running!

Today I signed up for an account on SparkPeople.com.  http://www.sparkpeople.com/  I have been to this site before and really didn't understand it . . . or give it a chance.  However, I spent time getting to know the website.  It actually has a lot of cool features that I plan on using.  For example there is a way to plan and track what you eat.  This is important to me because in past times I have never made a food plan and NEVER counted calories.  With this site I can make out my food plans, and instantly I have information on how many calories I have consumed, sodium intake (important to me because of my unchecked high blood pressure), fats, sugars, and many other things.  It really is wonderful and easy.  There is even a place for me to track my exercise, calories burned, water intake, and my weekly weight loss. 

Of course the last four days I have been eating properly and have not suffered.  I know that I need to eat roughly 2,000 calories a day to maintain my health and lose four weight.  Until Spark People I haven't really had a way to keep a count on calorie counting.  Much to my surprise I have been eating quite a bit less than is required.  For example today I found that in eating my four planned meals I ended up consuming less than 1,400 calories.  I need to eat another 600 calories.  You think there would be no problem.  But you are wrong . . . I am not hungry.  I don't want to eat anything else.  Perhaps this one time I will be able to just call the day finished and not worry too much about the missing calories.  I suppose it would be all right this once. 

I think tomorrow I will list my goals . . . that should be interesting, right?

What a Nice Way to Start -Day 3

August 14, 2012

Yesterday was a great day for me.  I joined a local gym and had a little work out for about 40 minutes.  When I was finished I started walking around the gym.  I noted a scale used for weighing yourself over on the wall.  I really thought nothing of it because most scales will only weigh you if you are 300 pounds or less.  The best I have ever seen was an old scale we owned that could measure up to 330 pounds.  The reason I bypassed the scales was because the last time I went to a doctor appointment I weighted in at over 360 pounds.  I just knew I weighed more than that so why even look.  But that small voice inside said go look again.  I am glad I listened to that small voice, for when I walked by the scale a second time I noticed that it weighed up to 660 lbs. 

I stood for what seemed like an excessive amount of time staring at the scale.  Did I really want to know my weight?  I thought about it for a while longer until I remembered that I love to set goals.  I love to chart out what I have done and mark all the milestones.  So I stepped slowly up onto the scale and watched a wonderful number appear on the LED screen . . .

                          334 LBS

I know at first glance someone may think that is horrible, absurd, or crazy.  But really, I was expecting it to be 370 or more . . . and just like that I lost nearly 40 pounds!  That is such great news to me because I now have a starting place.  I can easily lose 5 pounds and slip forever out of the 330's, never to see them again!

I Hate My Clothes - Day 2

August 13, 2012

One of the things I HATE about being on the "old" road to obesity is my clothes! It is bad enough to be called morbidly obese, but then to have to dress all that up so I don't look or feel morbidly obese is insanely awful and ridiculously crazy. For the most part men like me have to wear over sized shirts and baggy, unnatural fitting pants. I go for the Hawaiian shirt, partly for my job as a PE teacher, and for the easy and comfort of hiding the real shape of my body from the eyes of the world. I don't usually button my shirts up but rather wear a t-shirt underneath my Hawaiians. With all these layers I do feel a little more normal sized but it is HOT. I truly don't like being hot. However, the alternative is to ditch the t-shirt and button up the shirt.

Sorry, no matter how comfortable you are, a fat man should not have his bare chest and belly hanging out!



Now don't get me wrong, I love my Hawaiian shirts and will continue to wear them once I achieve my goals. But I have this nasty image in my mind of a very obese man wearing a Hawaiian shirt that looks too small on him-YUCK! Oh, if only they would button up and not look so small.

It is sad that my wardrobe is limited to fat clothes. I would prefer normal sized, loose fitting clothes. The reason for this is because loose fitting clothes keep me cooler. For this reason I ppersonally hate tight fitting clothes. However, the day will come when my wardrobe will contain many kinds of clothes (minus the fat clothes). The one thing I look forward to with great anticipation is when I can wear a pair of jeans that fit properly and a t-shirt. No over shirts, no Hawaiian shirts . . . just jeans and a t-shirt! Dressing couldn't be easier or more comfortable.

I joined a gym today and will share with you my experience tomorrow.

I Love Being a Man - Day 1



Hi, I am Mike

  AUGUST 12, 2012

I enjoy being a man, in fact, I love being a man. I love my strength, I love how my body works in its many wondrous ways. I love having agency to make my own choices. I love being a man packed with potential. I enjoy the company of other men (for the most part). I enjoy the brotherhood we share, weather that is as a group of ordinary guys, a body of the priesthood, or even as strangers.

Being a man is wonderful, powerful, fulfilling, and important. I do not put down womanhood and have the utmost respect for women. The only thing that makes me as great as they are is the manhood and the priesthood I bear. Without these I would be nothing compared to my sisterkind.

I know there are many kinds of men. It sickens me that there are men who think they have to be violent, put down others, prove they are stronger or better than others, or who are abusive to women, children, or themselves. However, I am drawn to men who have Christ like attributes, such as compassion, spiritual leadership, or who have strong morals and values. These types of men are not perfect and they don't have to prove their perfectness.

These Christ-like men have a strong ability to use their agency to choose. I admire that. I also admire men who overcome adversity and stick to their plan, making adjustments along the way if needed. These men have strength and flexibility. These are the type of men I want to pattern my life after.

I stated earlier that I love having agency. It is the use of this agency that really sets one man apart from another. I believe I am a pretty good man in many ways. But, unfortunately, I have not used my agency very well when it comes to keeping my health and strength up. I have just let life go on without making adjustments needed to keep me healthy and fit. I do believe I have entered a final crossroads. One road leads to better health, longer life, fulfillment, more success, and amazing experiences. The other road is the same old road I've been following for the past 30 plus years. It leads to continued deterioration of my body, robbing me of my health, happiness, and unwanted or unnecessary pain, disease, and quite likely an early death. Which road to take?

I feel like Rizzo the Rat in Muppets From Space. Rizzo is in prison and is given a test with two choices . . . the cheese or the rat poison! That isn't even a contest, right? Of course I use my agency to take the road to better health.

The Lord has given me many tools over the years. The tools of faith, prayer, scriptures, of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), goal setting, good and inspired books and programs, knowledge, other people who support me, and the atonement as wrought out by my Savior, Jesus Christ. I can do all things through Christ Jesus my Lord. With these tools I am setting out to overcome my obesity and all the "baggage" that comes with it. I find it necessary to blog my journey, to share with others all the successes and disappointments that are certain to fill my days. In doing this I am able to commit myself to this monumental task that is long overdue.

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